I was tagged by Mathman to meme, which is fine. I usually appreciate the excuse to write about myself even more than my very own personal blog already allows. I keep coming up with lists in my head, so lists it is:
1. Like Mathman, I will be a high school math teacher, hopefully hired a year from now. But, these are a few jobs I'd really rather have: Poet Laureate for a Stephen Colbert Presidency, Landscape Designer/ Gardener for Robin Williams, Personal Chef for the Dennis Kucinich White House, Campbell Scott's Personal Erotica Writer.
2. My muses: My Anger, Sex, Hermits, Poets, Environmental Activists, Smart and Big or Small-Breasted Women, Funny Men, Monkeys, Apes and other furry Presidential Candidates, and Splotchy Doodle Accessories.
3. Things that have saved my marriage time and time again: Comforters, "You might be right," Masturbation, Realizing, "Oh yea, we never actually got married," Velveeta (literally and figuratively.)
4. My favorite foods: Portabello Mushrooms, Zuchinni, Those Roasted Chickens at the Grocery Store (How do they cook those to such juicy perfection?) Carob Malt Balls, Wheat Roast, My Homemade Tomatillo Salsa That's Never The Same Twice- sometimes (with those good restaurant-style tortilla chips, the brand of which I can never remember.)
5. Strange beliefs I hold: Reincarnation and Parallel Universes are the Same Thing (only one is seen through the filter of time,) I Feel Energy With My Hands, We Are All One Being, I Am Not Schizophrenic.
6. Things that turn me on: Studying Math With Someone, Boners, Alliterative Allusions, Poetic Paradoxes, Fall Weather, Hayrides, Overalls, Punk Rock Hairdos, Clean Sheets, People Who Comment My Blog, Women Who Cuss, The Color Brown, Music With Melodic Bass Lines, My Husband, Getting Rained On, Touching My Nipples Through My Shirt, People Who Admit They Like ABBA, Accents, Being Partially Clothed, Hairy Legs (especially if they are women's,) Baths, The Really Tall Guy At My Work Who Just Walked By Me, Giving Presents, The Smell of Magnolia Flowers, Public Displays of Affection, Undershirts, My Discrete Math Teacher a Couple Semesters Ago, Cooking Utensils (especially spatulas,) School Supplies (especially mechanical pencils and big erasers,) Starting Fires, Pizza, Being Naked Outside, Kites, NPR, A Big Bag of a Brand New Thrift Store Wardrobe, My Best Friend, Pregnant Bellies, Written Accounts of Sex, Hiding, My Husband's Best Friend, Sleeping in a Tent. (Okay, clearly this one needs to be its own blog posting, because I could just keep going.)
7. Things I don't like: Long Toenails, Raisins, Traffic, My Own Stubbornness, When I Get a Bad Haircut, Rejection, Wearing Make-up, Small Forks, Chipped Nail Polish, Getting No Emails, To Wear Pink or Yellow, Uncomfortable Shoes, Making Mistakes, Wastefulness, Time Constraints, Going To Bed Early, Lying, Coca-Cola, Craving Cigarettes, Running Late, Microwaves, Neutrality, Rashes, Having Chapped Lips, Eating in My Car.
8. Advantages of having a parent with OCD: This List Will Be Complete.
9. Political issues over which I disagree with Dennis Kucinich:
10. People I tag: Randal Graves (oops, FranIAm already tagged you. Well, add a bonus one for me, please.), Whiskeymarie (Oh man, you were tagged just last week. Maybe you'd like to put a meme in your pocket for later and then blame it on me. I don't like rejection- see above.), Snave (I've never met you, but I like your blog and Hi.), Evil Spock (Please come out to meme!), and my two close bloghottie buddies upon whom I often call in dire emergencies such as these, DCup and Dr. Monkey. And I'll remind Dr. Zaius and Angry Ballerina that I would tag them, but I did before and they did not heed the call. Let this serve as a new tag if you still want the blog fodder and felt it too late or call yourself officially untagged, if you didn't want it to begin with. Closure.