9/27/08

Who Do You Want Me To Be To Make You Sleep With Me?

Now that I am effectively down to three readers, I figure I have cultivated the perfect environment of intimacy to do one of my 'lil diaretic ramblings without too much attention from the paparazzi. I know those of you who are still reading even when I haven't been posting lately are really searching to satisfy your baser needs, searching for the terms Corduroy Fetish, Hall and Oates and What to do When Your Sex Life is Stale (Please leave your findings in comments), but I do feel a tad bit of an urge to write and figure I'll go with it, even if I don't have much to say.

This past week was a week from hell school-wise, but not nearly as bad as semesters past. While I have a very paltry percentage in Real Analysis, my other classes are going quite well and, most importantly, five of the fifteen weeks of my last semester of classes (provided I don't have to retake RA) have passed and that's what I really care about at this point. I am having to write for school quite a bit, but it is nearly exclusively in the form of proofs, lesson plans, and textbook analyses. I will admit right here and now and shout it out to the world that I HAVE BECOME A CONCEPT MAP ADDICT. It's true. You will no longer get posts from me that include my lists of things to do. I have installed a cmap tool, learned how to export it as a pdf and the rest is categorizeable history in the making, as I have only begun to explore the different cmap styles.

Recently, we got a very cute, tiny all-black cat named Applesauce (I thank the family of The Future President's friend for not naming it a people name- my biggest pet peeve, besides those gorily long, drawn-out, run-on sentences within which would-be writers like to delude themselves into thinking they can actually maintain anything akin to grammatical precision). She is super cute and snuggly, but I've been too busy to take a picture of her. Sorry for the deprivation. There's no food in the fridge I'm sorry to inform, as well.

There is a lot going on that I could tell you all about, but I'm really not up to getting into all that right now. I'd really rather we just sit here together. I'm so deperate for that kind of time that twice this week The Lip Model and I snuggled on the couch and roared with laughter as we watched George Bush and then John McCain spout off their bs. I realize that 700 billion dollars and complete cluelessnesses are not really humorous, but it's all the entertanment we had, so give us breaks please.

I got sad today when I read that Paul Newman died. I recall his being one of the first men I thought handsome and credit him individually for the success of Whole Foods and organics in the marketplace (given that his were some of the first natural products that mainstream grocery chains successfully sold on their shelves). We can thank him for the fact that WalMart now sells their own organic soymilk in nasty plastic jugs and perhaps for the fact that the main cafeteria in the UT dorm that's so big it has its own zip code is going green. Maybe we should really thank Al Gore for that, but either way they are about to be using all biodegradeable products and that is the type of activity I am capable of getting excited about these days.

The readings I have to do this semester are the types of readings I like to do on my own, and that is really neat. We've read Plastic Ocean and Cooking for Eggheads for one of my classes and my Project Based Instruction partner and I are going to use an excerpt from How to Lie with Statistics and a related activity in the probability unit we are designing, the end result of which we intend to be nothing less than students' convincing the Austin school district (with math!) to change out every toilet in the district with a water-saving variety. I'll fill you in when we get it all going, but for now, it's just this... complaining.

The Austin City Limits Music Festival is going on right now and here I am at work. The Lip Model invited me to paint out of doors with her and here I am at work. I am looking forward to the debate viewing party that my above mentioned partner and I are going to have to laugh at Sarah Palin this coming Thursday. It will be hilarious, I know. I can hardly wait.

I was a little disappointed in Obama's violent stances last night, but am psyched about the good head he has on his shoulders. Is it really legal to state on national television one's intention to assassinate an individual? He probably has a better grasp on the law than I do, but I woulda figured someone would have told George Bush that all these years to avoid his going around using the euphemism "bring them to justice." I'm getting kinda tired of John McCain and Sarah Palin speaking in rhetorical jargon it seems to me, but TLM and I howled the most at John McCain's saying that one doesn't just state on TV what they're going to do strategically, or was that tactically? I keep hoping that Obama is trying to reign in his liberalism in order to get elected. I suspect it sometimes; his awareness lends toward it, but his jadedness in areas Republicans tend to think of as naïveté is probably to the Democrats' advantage right now. I just hope he doesn't pull a Nancy Pelosi once in office.

I wish I had something relatively interesting to end with here.

How's about the country song Mr. Bee and I writ on the telefono this morn:

Got lotion in my eye.
It kinda made me cry.
Paul Newman died yesterday
And I'm tired.

Too much coffee's got me wound.
That's when you know I'm bound
To cry jes' like a man.
(Uh, something real profound.)

Let's see.... For you who googled What to do When Your Sex Life is Stale, I hope these give you an idea or three.


The Tourist Attraction


The Physical Therapist


The Pinball Wizard (All from Super Deluxe)

If those don't work for you, you might try this line, which is a modern variation on the obvious, "How's about this $700,000,000,000 bailout we're having?" (That should really get the juices flowing.) You can thank me in comments. Be sure to report your successes.

17 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Hey, I just come here for the poems. I'm a married man, what the hell am I gonna do with all these new sexual positions?

I love these potpourri posts, but you always lose me with the mathery, you bloody egghead. (You're not gonna post less after becoming Austin's Finest Teacher, are you?)

Country music is generally craptacular in its suckery, but I imagined a sad lick and cried after that song. Or maybe it was the asbestos. This is an old building.

darkblack said...

Too much of a worker bee to attend the Music Festival? Ah well...Points to you for your industriousness.

;>)

Border Explorer said...

Freida Bee, you are corrupting me and I love you for it. I can hardly wait until I have something to report on in the comments!

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm never disappointed!

The Pinball Wizard!!!! Hilarious!

Sorry you had to work today and about Paul Newman.

FranIAm said...

The Pinball Wizard... so that's what its called. Damn, I never knew. I called it the Dining Room table myself but that was entirely location driven.

Hi honey - you must have more than 3 readers, I count for like 1.5, don't I?

Mauigirl said...

Thanks for the great videos, they are very enlightening. I think I'll go on a tour!

pidomon said...

youre still 3 readers up on me!
maybe i can find a partner this afternoon to use the knowledge i have gained from teh videos.

Katie Schwartz said...

MissyB; I love your rants.

Do you believe how much you've accomplished this semester?! I am proud of you, doll. You're always on the go, doing, living, moving it forward.

PS: Did you read the latest on the 700B bailout? Looks like it's gonna happen with conditions. Still, I'm so neesh about it.

xo

enc said...

Nuh-uh, you have 19 readers! According to Google Reader, anyway.

Romius T. said...

We always need more of your writing, and I think it is now ok to assanitate people if you are the president. I think they changed the law. I could be wrong. I am not a lawyer.

Tengrain said...

I loved How to Lie with Statistics. It's one of the reasons my BS detector goes off daily.

Regards,

Tengrain
(Do I count as like a 0.25 reader?)

GETkristiLOVE said...

Am I one of the three?

Hey, we both have cats named after food... well, plus my sister has a cat named The Banana.

I'm expecting a picture, pronto!

Melliferous Pants said...

I desperately need to find myself a physical therapist.

DivaJood said...

$700B as a sexual position - now that's smokin.

Paulson to Main Street USA: "It was good for me. Was it good for you?" Main Street "I was just good and fucked, wasn't I? I didn't feel it coming."

Comrade Kevin said...

I wish I was creative enough and/or flexible for such sexual endeavors.


I'd have to take Pilates or Yoga to pull of some of these.

Utah Savage said...

Hey, I'm hoping someday to have a dog named Bob. It's been an ambition for a long time. My last old dog was named Geeky. What a fine dog he was, may he rest in Peace.

Okay, I had to get in line to comment. It's almost as long as a gas line on the gulf coast. I'm damn lucky if I get five. So there.

Lib is posting about trying Tantric sex. Been there done that. Got any Chinese Basket tricks up you sleeve?

Glad you're doing well in school. And I too thin the McPalin campaign stunts of whirling around to step on Old John's dick are hilarious too. Wish we could cuddle and giggle.

Anonymous said...

I've just found your website and am enjoying it. Thanks.