The One I Forgot To Put a Condom Title On

Last night I had the funnest time, in the dénouement of a quite challenging week, sitting with my baby bees, watching the crime noir "movies" as The Genius calls them, the one-hour, b-list, CSIesque sitcoms that come on on a Friday night. I needed to vegge out and since we cannot find "Eagle vs. Shark" which we rented from Netflix (quickie movie review- hiiilarious) and have delayed sending it back, "Houston, we have a problem" and since I can't get Mr. Bee to watch the movie we anticipate to be quite depressing featuring Bjork that we've had for several weeks now and I've just been to busy to watch it myself, I settled for some good olde-fashioned mind-numbery.

Firstly, we watched "The Ghost Whisperer," which was so ghastly I almost turned off the TV, but I did not want the boys to discover that "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader" was on. They love that show for obvious reasons. But, really, I was just in a tv watching mood, which occurs once every couple weeks. Since, we don't have cable, we are at the mercy of tv execs with bad taste (sorry, tv execs with bad taste who read my blog- which only exemplifies my point). So, at some point we start mocking TGW, but it brought up interesting conversation since The Genius asked me about reincarnation the other day and some weird bastardized version of reincarnation was featured in said episode. (TGW's husband had recently died and she knew he had taken a huge romantic risk to take over the body of a man who had recently died in a car accident's body and she was in love with her husband in another body to the chagrin of his family, but, as can be expected, it all turned out good for everyone in the end, even the guy who was haunting her and breaking her mirrors. He eventually went into the light, which was "following him around all day." For the love of Jesus Christ on melba toast, was that all hard to swallow.)

I tried to balance mocking the show with explaining what some beliefs around the issue of reincarnation are for a curious boy the age of nine. I happen to be your typical blend of buddhist, humanist, agnostic, pagan, parallel universalist and always enjoy presenting what some people believe to The Genius- who's been asking about God for years now. We have very matter of fact conversations and I always conclude with something to the effect of "It's hard to know these things. Each person makes sense of his or her experience in his or her own way, sometimes many people come to the same conclusions or have the same experiences and sometimes what a person thinks is the truth changes."

What I haven't told him is how the morning of the day a friend of mine died, I had a very vivid dream in which there was a boy who was the son of some people who were chasing me with a gun and I decided to take him with me, wholeheartedly. I had a very surreal day and it was at the gathering after the funeral of my friend that The Genius's birth father and I bonded and became lovers in the months following. I later found out that my friend had just found out that she was pregnant. And, though my relationship with The Genius's sperm donor was very short lived, I always have felt exactly like I felt about that boy in my dream and I have welcomed him even though becoming a single mother with three children was one of the most daunting paths I ever embarked upon. It did bring Mr. Bee to me. Mr. Bee loves The Genius, always has. There were many times he has stayed with me because of him and in recent years, there are many times The Genius is the reason I have stayed with Mr. Bee.

Another is Mr. Bee's humor. There is no comparing the dorkitude our home embodies, as is typified by the statement after next. The next show on after TGW was "The Mentalist." Mr. Bee looked up from playing World of Warcraft to say in his rich baritone "I am 'The Dentalist'" to which The Genius replied, "I am 'The Mentist'" to which I replied, "I am 'The Mintiest.'"

We howled at "The Mentalist's" clever Man-Who-Did-it-is-in-This-Room-(and-will-collapse)speech and Snaggletooth mocked his hynotizing the girl, to confess the next time he said "hello," brilliantly. During commercials I was forced to ask The Genius science trivia questions (It's hard work raising a little genius.) and even took a break to do the dishes for a bit, but that was more so we would have clean dishes than to get away from the mentalizing... kinda.

All I'm going to say is that I have discovered PBwiki and it's all over now. I have a household one I started (and a novel writing one and one for one of my school projects) which has right now a grocery list page, a bills page- complete with links to our debtors online and contact, due date and amount information. I even started a weekly menu page- which I (ooh the geekitude) roughly make each week before I go to the grocery store. I'm pretty good. I can shop big and not have anything go to waste and have it last for a family of 4 full-time (6 half-time) for a full week. I can foresee chore lists for the kids and other organizational things that are aimed at helping me get paper out of my life once and for all (except for that whole teacher thing- though we will have class wikis).

There's so much to write since I am writing so little these days. Just two more weeks of classes and then finals and then I could almost say that I am done with taking classes forever, but the 25 I made on a Real Analysis test last week pretty much seals what was inevitable anyway, my retaking that class while I student teach next semester. There is always the hope I will pass, and I will try (and it wouldn't be the first math class I passed after making a 25% on a test), but the chances seem pretty slim. I am no optimist, I assure you, but it is a pretty cool class and I will be glad to know the material in the end if I do end up retaking it, that and I really should take one class next semester in order to be considered 3/4 time so I can receive a Pell Grant. I was just hoping it might be creative writing on a pass/ fail basis, but say, "La vee."

I've got three awards to showcase here shortly. I just had to post before I felt justified in being considered a blogger. Oh, believe you me, I am about to be a blog slut to the nth degree, and yes I am gay and coming to terms with that in my all-to painful way right now, so there's that. Coming soon.

Things I bought this week:
A Pencil Sharpener Shaped Like a Crocodile
A D in Real Analysis (if I'm lucky)
Pepperjack Cheese
A watch (Actually, I found it outside a grocery store- not an expensive one, but I like it.)
Cat Litter
$.75 worth of air for a car tire (but only used $.25 worth)
The Hype


Randal Graves said...

So, TGW doesn't equal TGIF? Are the networks still using that?

I replied, "I am 'The Mintiest.'"

The Freshmaker! Pretend you can hear the faux faux-German immigrant accent.

Have you thought about taking the Fake Analysis class instead?

Wait, you're 100% gay now? Well shit, there goes Randal's fantasy of hot monocle-bee action. Can I at least have the unused portion of the tire air? I swear I'll put it to good use and not sell it for a pack of baseball cards.

Utah Savage said...

Well, I'm relieved to know the gay thing is settled. I look forward to steamy lesbian sex scenes. But I know how this must truly pain Randal, and for that I'm sad. Still you could intimate that you're dreaming of a lesbian threesome with a Frenchifried, monocle wearing, married guy from Cincinnati for the meat in the lesbian sandwich.

Yet life seems so peaceful, so sweet, in a late 1950's mother- knows-best kind of dream world.

Loved the "purchase" list. I too bought pepperjack cheese. What's up with that?

I must learn that menu planning thing just to keep from letting the green pepper slowly turn to slime in the vegetable drawer.

I'm slipping our of my happy mania and back to normal--which for me is pretty gloomy. Must be the approaching holidays. I ignore them, but still... It's kind of sad. But this year I get to look forward to the ceremonial kicking of the Chimpy to the curb as we inaugurate our first black president. That's nothing short of miraculous considering the general state of stupidity in the USA. So glad you'll be teaching.

Comrade Kevin said...

Dancer in the Dark is a good film, but not nearly as good as the critics make it out to be.

And depressing as hell too!

Freida Bee said...

Randal, I'm not any different than I've always been, though my perspective on it is shifting to one that at least seems to be more authentic (the totally overused, cliché (but appropriate) word here.

I am afraid I already sucked in the $.50 worth or air, hyper-inflated myself, and expelled it, already. You think it was the whisky under your desk that took the nip off, but it was actually my hot air, which- yes- is teh mintyest.

(I'm kinda devestated to tell you the truth. I love my Mr. Bee, you know.)

Utah- Nothing is settled at all. It's all up in the air. That being said, I am not taking any action on anything at this point. Depictions of lesbian sex scenes is just the same ol' same ol', though.

(It's not being able to have Randal that did this to me, though. If I can't have him, I don't want nobody baby. Sing it, Randal. ;)

Comrade Special K- That's the one. I knowww. I read a few reviews that were not so favorable and I haven't been in the moode to consciously select to get extremely depressed, which is a little weird, bacause I usually love that shit. I hope I'm not depressed. ;)

Freida Bee said...

Oh, I think I left out a typoi up there'

Anonymous said...

Now I see why you have the Genius and I have Resident Evil. When my kids ask such important, philosophical questions, I simply wave them away and tell them to google it.

No - do not drop your classes. They define your passion. Well, sort of, right?

I'm keeping quiet about lesbian sex scenes (but it's killing me!)

P.S. I hear Georgia needs math teachers.

Unknown said...

Well like lesbians and math so I would stick with that even though Dcup is keeping quiet. I also, picked up pepperjack cheese this week when I was left alone at the grocery store. So girls what does that mean?

Elizabeth said...

I've never had the stomach to try to watch "TGW," on the grounds that it just looked too cheesy.

darkblack said...

Gay, schmay. As long as you're happy, healthy, and loved.

And don't get me started on this 'Ghost Whisperer' mumbo-pocus. Every damn Friday night, when I'm trying to follow my socially backward intellectual pursuits, I have Melinda Gordon in the background trying to entice some spooky boogum toward a scintilla of awareness regarding their own demise. Lovely.


Blueberry said...

Who is that flying horned cat fancier in the pic?

No Pepperjackers here, just the usual Parmesan, but we did buy cat litter made from corn.

Joe said...

"There is no comparing the dorkitude our home embodies..."

This made my night, and the exchange that follows it is one of the most endearing things I've read in ages.

MizBubs just discovered pbwiki a couple months ago during a Web 2.0 project at her library, and used it very effectively to organize her family's early Thanksgiving dinner this past weekend. She loves it.

Life As I Know It Now said...

what a great title. I still don't know how to cross out words yet. yes, I know Randall taught you in one of his posts and I would have learned it too if I hadn't been so lazy and at least wrote it down and practiced it a couple of times anyway until I got the hang of it.

Randal Graves said...

Cleveland, Utah, Cleveland. Cincy is for Bungles and Springer and Johnny Bench.

Hey, if singin's what I gotta do for fantasyizing, then singin's what I'll do. Wait, this guy sings about bees better than I ever could!

Actually, since you're all mathy and such, can you also fix the ghosts that inhabit the internets at my house? I'll even let you have some air from my tires.

Steve said...

i miss playdough!

hope you have a hoppy turkey day