Some People Call Me The Gangsta of Love, But You Can Call Me Maurice.

I was thinking about participating in NanoProBloMe and have too many ideas for posts I just don't have time to write today, so I want you to practice getting your vote on, children. And, you thought I was a socialist. I suppose I am more like a benevolent dictator. Now, vote in comments for the blog post you most want me to write tomorrow and I shall do so unless the cows come home in which case, I shall be udderly unprepared. In the event of a three-way tied-to-the-bed debacle that lasts all morning, er tie, I shall let the future Vice-President of laytex sales decide, so I'm gonna need a new VP of laytex sales too.

Here are your choices...

1. A Bowl of Ice Cream a Day Keeps the Sex Away

2. Zombie Jesus Wakes From the Dead and Boy is He Pissed!

3. Imaginary Love Letters to French Lesbians With Hairy Pits, Great Hair, and Faint Mustaches I Don't Know

4. Why Does Everybody Hate Decaf? It Saves Lives.

5. I Can Rant If I Want To. I Can Leave My Virginity Behind.

6. I'm Gonna Wash That 16 Day-Old Sweat and Cum Right Outta My Hair

7. Tha Florence Joe Diaries: Can Ah Borrow You's Gun Fer a Hour?

8. Insane Ramblings: They're Not Just For Breakfast In Bed With Strangers Anymore

Seriously folks. Entertain me. I'm at work.

Wait a minute, are you really going to go hike and camp out in this kind of gorgeous weather? Please take me with you!


(Faulty vote counters are standing by waiting for your votes. Vote early. Vote often.)

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Randal Graves said...

Hell, some call me Maurice. How can we choose? I'm not a choosy mother, otherwise I'd like a scholarly essay on Jif.

I guess #8 because it mentions food and I'm really hungry right now. #1 mentions food as well, but I'm trying to capture sex, not set it free.

Randal Graves said...

I vote for #8 as well!

I'm voting often and I don't work for ACORN. Wrap your small minds around that bit o' zen, wingnuts.

jobsanger said...

Have to vote for #2. Just the words "Zombie Jesus" makes me smile.

Anonymous said...

#7 or #8. Or how about all of them?

Freida Bee said...

Randal- It's prolly 'cause you speak of the pompitous of love. You'r still a nut, just not a winged one. ;)

Jobsanger- I am quite partial to this one, particularly for El Dia de los Muertos. Particularly since Zombie Jesus is my still hermaphroditic lover.

Lass- I like your non-dogmatic thinking. I have an agenda now, here. I mean, how could I go for 8 and then leave the Florence Joe tale untold?

enc said...


Cite studies, text, references.

Bubs said...

#3 or #7? I'm happy with either.

F*ck it, I'd be happy with any of 'em.

Katie Schwartz said...

They are all fabulous, but I want #3. Write about 3!

Comrade Kevin said...

I'm a picker AND a grinner.

But ya know, whatever cranks your tractor.

Anonymous said...

You really expect me to choose among those?

Okay, go with #6. Please.

Utah Savage said...

No on #6. Think of 16 day old sweat and cum as expensive hair car styling products and save yourself some money.

I'd opt for #7 but that's just because I'm almost there. If McCain steals this mother because one of you didn't vote, I'm borrowing somebody's gun and going on a rampage.

I wondered what drove the sex away. Now I know.

Humm. #3 interests me, because I never believed in Jesus. But if he does exist he would rally be pissed at Bushies and if he came back now as a Zombie, he'd smite Cheney wouldn't he?

darkblack said...

Decaf saves lives? Socialist propaganda.

#6...But only if I can watch.


pidomon said...

#2 please
2. Zombie Jesus Wakes From the Dead and Boy is He Pissed!