1/9/09

Housewife Log: Stardate -i (with a lil' side 'o OOTMOB)

I've been a bad blogger.

Please don't respond to that with that old "There's nothing wrong with having a 3-D life" consolation prize, please.  

I've been bad, pure and simple.  I'm not quite sure how real housewives do all this helpin' their kids with homework, cooking real meals, filtering through their children's clothing that is 3+ years too small for the youngest, reading bedtime stories, crocheting in the dentalist's office when their baby Bee's are so big they don't need them fretting beside them anymore  because the dentalist is simultaneously drilling on their children's teeth and judging them for their obvious lack of brushing every single tooth 40 time 2x a day that he's going to misadminister the lydocaine dosage (Snaggletooth is lithe for his age) what with all the multi-tasking.

I am a bad blogger, because there is no way that last sentence is correct, and I don't care.

I am a bad liberal even.  Though I want no part of helmut head's pretty boy antics, and I've done no research into the matter, I can't help but think of witch trials when I think of impeachments which occur before trials.  Isn't one's unalienable right to have a fair trial by a jury of one's peers the order of the day.  It's like the impeachment thing is backwards.  Shouldn't they vote after he has a trial.  I guess the impeachment vote brings it to trial and I understand the heinousness of the charges, but to an uninformed political dabbler, the matter appears to be 37% hype.

I have organized just enough stuff in my house that the other half is strewn about so chaotically that all the people I don't invite over are virtually falling all over it when they try to escape.

I am supposed to go walking and before that drop off teh Genius's homework by school.  This is his one freebie.  I won't do it again.  He will be duly warned later.

I have to buy 30 vats of white vinegar in order to rubberize chicken bones for a science fair project that should have been worked on all during the break, unbeknownst to me.  I had to bribe the genius with a real-live rubber chicken to settle on a project idea Monday night after all thirty of his ideas required $10,000 research grants, a staff, and a year.  

I am a bad blogger because I started that new Canadian OOTMOB series and had the perfect one come my way and this is all the foreplay you get...

The genius got a new computer game yesterday with his christmas monies.  We had to go to Fry's Electronics™  to find a version for Macs and you have never seen to little boys drool harder in your life, if you were spying on them with hidden cameras, as we know all you Fry's spies have the technology to do.

It's The Age of Mythology™, the game, and I had hounded The Genius to make his lunch for school the next morning (as good moms do, rather than make them themselves) and brush his teeth and his retort?
"I will.  I will.  I just have to go look at my Medusa one more time."
To which I replied, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

See ya laters.

Love, Her

7 comments:

Randal Graves said...

I was going to say there's nothing wrong with having a 2-D life. 3-D is an imaginary thing, like delicious liver and underwater curling.

The dentalist just called. He wants to know why you're not brushing right now, while you drive, and while you're buying 30 vats of vinegar - shit, are you coloring ostrich eggs for Rabbit Day?

Watch out for Medusa. I'd be sad if you turned to stone.

Utah Savage said...

I have nothing to do but blog or write fiction and watch "news" all day, and I'm a bad blogger. Last night I posted Paul Krugmans blog at my place. I hope I don't get booted out of the blogging world for that bit of chicanery, but he's smarter than I am, so....

I have no idea how anyone with a family manages to write a word other than hastily written notes to family members like, Brush your teeth 40x2 or whatever it is. And how the hell does anyone pay a dentist these days? I'm in desperate need of dental work, but medicare does not help with dental work. So how the hell does a family do it?

And as for the political stuff--I think you should get an award for the blog post you wrote taking on Kelso. It was brilliant and really did stir things up. I'm wondering what's happened to Kelso since that bitch slap (and I mean that in the best possible way). He seems to have stopped commenting everywhere. At least everywhere I go. But you have great political instincts. However I do believe that impeachment proceedings are the beginning of the trial process. I think we would have had to impeach BushCo before they could be taken away in chains. I could be wrong, it wouldn't be the first time.

Bubs said...

"I have to buy 30 vats of white vinegar in order to rubberize chicken bones..."

I am fascinated. Hopefully you'll be able to sell these flexi-bones as a fun novelty item at some future garage sale or something.

Romius T. said...

I will say that I will not find it hard to start commenting on your site again. jejej

Lisa said...

Better to be a bad blogger than a bad mother? I don't know. I waver back and forth on it.

A medusa might be a handy thing to have around. It might be fun to say "Don't make me go get the Medusa. You know how she is when I interrupt her 'What Not to Wear' time...."

Mauigirl said...

Freida, you are absolved of all guilt of bad bloggerhood. Just that one post about Moldy Dick has held me for days! Loved it. I'm sure more will come your way.

I could never do all that people with kids do. One reason I never had any - couldn't imagine the amount of work it takes! Kudos to all mothers for managing to do anything at all other than raise their kids!

As for Blago, the whole thing is such a mess and the Democrats are making it worse than it needs to be. I don't really understand the impeachment thing but from what I gather, the rules to impeach are not as strict as the rules to actually arrest and convict someone in the eyes of the law. So they could impeach and convict the guy in the Illinois Senate and later on he might be exonerated from the criminal charges anyway. The whole thing is making the Dems look like idiots and I wish they'd just seat Burris already and move on.

Comrade Kevin said...

Speaking of the dentalist, I'm wondering where one could get a very large vat of novacaine to use for punishment on unpleasant people.