A Blogger's Lament with a Smattering of Rapper's Delight

How hath I forsaken thee?
Let me count the ways.
It has been three days since I last posted here,
Fourteen at another,
And there are the three of which we must not speak.

You crept into my dreams to remind me
Of our gentle creed,
The one that demands my every waking hour,
Without exception or refrain.
Three then it is thus far.

Let us not forgetteth that I have committed the mortal sin.
I shall forever remind you of that, that I have lusted after another.
While you laid here in wait, loyal and worse from wear,
I have cast my mind's eye upon that which is shiny and new
When a few format changes and a froodle or two would suffice.

So, sloth and lust my avarices, greed no doubt the cause.
Even now, I have plans to return to sleep
On this the final day of such petty indulgences,
Until a summer's eve comes and washes it all away,
Fertility break with topless beach romps aside.

I know not the distinction between gluttony, greed and lust
In the implementation of such,
Or rather it is that I am too lazy then to make it.
Which raises the question, as it were,
"Whose omission be it then to slight neglect, my BFF?"

I know that, even in this lamentuous refrain,
You mock me and my lack of fortitude.
For I cannot, even now, seal the deal which would deem this through.
And, all the while, allowing a preposition there to linger... unrequited.
How cruelly I treat you, Queen of teh Sacred Drama, dearest blog.

And yet, you know I make vows to no one, myself included,
So upon this you can rely, my twisted promise upheld at last.
Be that as it may, and let us not forget to mention my sweet badunkadunk
Else it feel the need to grow larger still and demand its proper due,
The reminder to yield to more substantial matters was not unnoticed, merely unheeded.

Herein lies my redemption unto you.
Resist a chance to neglect that which more important calls itself I cannot,
And so, you know I shall return, even if in tears
To beg your forgiveness, as I have lost count of all the ways;
I shall rather call the matter petty and, in its stead languish here in anthropomorphic reverie...

... and ultimately funk.


Anonymous said...

Love it!

Randal Graves said...

That was fucking groovy, dammit. I want you to be the poet laureate of my blog, too.

Lisa said...

You make me want to be a better person when you write like this.

But now I need to go be someone else.

Liberality said...

okay, I guess I'll forgive you then. just don't let it happen again ;)

Tengrain said...

I thought maybe it was a poem, but I didn't see Nantucket mentioned once.



Utah Savage said...

"Whose omission be it then to slight neglect, my BFF?"

Who pray tell are you quoting here? It's a great line. And then there's this:

Be that as it may, and let us not forget to mention my sweet badunkadunk

You are indeed a genius. I'll never write another poem.

M.Yu said...

You are a passionate woman...and I do feel forsaken

This one should last you awhile

Missy said...

That was Freakin' Awesome!

And shit, did that song take me back--thanks!

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