I'm Slow, But Here to Stay

Lest all the intrigue make you think that anything other than my being slow is afoot, I am posting in lieu of writing lesson plans for the week. (See how I kinda, sorta blamed it on you? You're welcome.)

After The Lip Model blurted out, "I've read your gross blog!" (I have no idea why) in her school counselor's office, I set my blog to private, but had no time until today to send out invites. I am not pissed at any of you. Quite the contrary, but this has been a long time coming and for at least this next 30 seconds is gonna be how I roll.

I'm pretty sure TLM called my blog gross in one of her manic states to distract from the fact that the reason we were in the counselor's office is because she was skipping school when she was staying at her dad's and she got busted and we're making her stay at my house for the rest of the school year (oh, the cruelty). But, there are a few things on here I would rather she not read, including my newfound ability to rant on and on about her and Mr. Bee, my two favorite scapegoats.

I guess the good news is that if I was holding back on some level, god forbid, the reins are off. The bad news is that I do not have email addresses to invite everyone that usually comes here and I very likely met you because my blog was open. Anyway, this is the way it's gonna be for a while, because I said so.

I have been too busy to post and blowing off my blog was kind of a relief when I had so much to do this past week. My mentor teacher called me slow at lesson planning and she is right. I like to think about it a lot, and I am picky. I suppose I will get the hang of it, but I am swamped with what is on my plate already and I am supposed to take on another class starting next week. Oh, and it is an accelerated class and has an entirely different prep.

I am having a lot of fun being in a classroom, getting to know a class. I went way way too slow the first day. I was totally enjoying hearing kids say, they didn't know this or that which it was assumed they knew, but the faster kids were bored and restless. Arrrghh. The next day, I sped things up and went more into my comfort zone and did more than talk.
I help up a tennis ball can similar to the one pictured above and asked them if they thought the height of the can or the circumference of the lid is greater.
What do you think?
Because they knew I was up to something, the majority of the class voted that they thought they were the same and then they had the fun task of measuring the diameter and circumference of a bajillion old lids I got out from under my bed (you'd better not have just believed that), trying to find some consistent relationship between the two.
Excitement at it's finest. I know.
I forgot to deliver the punchline at first and had moved onto something else the next day when I remembered and told the kids, "Oh, I forgot about the mystery of the tennis ball can. Do you want to know which is longer?" There was a veritable uproar. "So, what do you think now?" This time more thought it would be the same than that the height was greater, but still only two kids said the lid's perimeter was greater.
But, no.
The circumference of the lid is significantly (kinda) greater than the height.
Do what?
Look at it.
The height of the can is 3 x the diameter, but the circumference of the lid is π x the diameter and π is a little more than 3 (which is the level of complicatedness they, as 6th graders, are expected to comprehend at this point, the ratio being the more important concept). Now, go out and win yourself some bar bets!
I should have paused more and let them squirm a bit to figure it out rather than be shown. I am realizing that being a teacher is kinda like being a stand up comedienne or on some sort of non-vaginal monologue. I have to most work on my timing.
Of course, the most entertaining part of the whole lesson to them was the fact that more than once I asked them about width of the balls. If you can get your teacher to say "balls" they you have succeeded as a student, I understand, but contrary to what you know about me, I had not planned that whatsoever. I had to act like I was offended at their implications, but I was laughing inside, of course.
I think I'm going to like this teaching thing. The kids are smart and really cool and even if I am slow, a lame blogger, and a gross mom, I'll show up until they tell me not to, which reminds me.... Does anyone know how to locate the record of the dismissal of being arrested for public intoxication when one was 17 in a different state? The school district doesn't want me as a sub for now, until I can locate that record.
Why buy the cow, when the milk is for free. I am expecting that you will be the envy of the blogosphere. I can only invite 100 readers, and already 13 have RSVP'd. With only 33 more invites available with 15 more folks I need email addresses for, but want to invite, that leaves, oh, let me get my calculator, only 18 more openings. Crap. The good news is that I do accept bribes, though.
But, enough for now. I must be off to plan the demise of my students as I grade papers for the first time.
Coming soon: The exciting tales of having to iron my clothing for the first time in my entire adult life.


Blue Gal said...

I'd be happy to act as a go-between if you need people to send you their email addys. But that would mean an announcement in my blog. Something along the lines of "Frieda Bee has set her blog to private. If you are one of her readers send an email to ....addy here."

I'd be happy to do that.

bluegalsblog AT gmail

Lisa said...

What BG said. I'm happy to help.

I'm glad I made the cut!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I love gross blogs.

darkblack said...

At least you didn't say 'tennisticles'. That would be gross.


Utah Savage said...

Thanks for the invite. I rather like the word tennisticles, thanks Darkblack for the new word.

My burning question is how did you get out of ironing your clothes for your whole life? You are so lucky! I'd have an extra year at least if I could get back all my ironing time.

Not a bit of business. Can I put this on my blog roll.

And I did think you broke up with me. Thank god we're still an item.

Mathman6293 said...

I am glad I made the top 67 but top 69 would have been better.

On the teaching thing... Is it bad to be a slow planner? I don't think so. Eventually, you can plan on the fly - of course that is not usually so good. I feel your planning pain, too. Since, I never seem to teach a topic the same way twice, every semester "feels like the first time."

Case Wagenvoord said...


Thanks for the invite.

As for getting a record of your DWI conviction, simply contact the juristiction (town, county, etc.) where it was adjudicated and ask for a notorized copy of the dismissal. (Because you were a juvenile at the time,it's possible the record was expunged.)

Welcome to the whacky world of teaching. I taught special ee. in brooklyn for eighteen years. It was challenging, rewarding and retirement came just in time.

Case Wagenvoord said...

I meant to say "special ed."

Bubs said...

Thanks for the mail to let me know. I'm lucky that since my blog is all lies and stories about the freakery and misdeeds of others, I don't have to worry about filtering what I write about people close to me.

DandelionSalad said...

Thanks for the invite, too, Freida.

You sound like a marvelous teacher! Math can be so much fun if only it is taught well. Keep up the great work, your students will appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

Yay! After a minor glitch, I got the invite to work. Thanks for inviting me.

Mauigirl said...

Thanks for inviting me, Freida! And I'm glad you're enjoying the teaching, I bet you rock as a teacher.

jobsanger said...

Thanks for the invite. I don't know what I'd do without my Freida Bee.

jin said...

Thanx for the invite! I've not been blogging much lately *ahem* ;-) but most likely I'd have popped by here in a few weeks & wondered what I said (or didn't say... omg have I even commented here in the last millenium?) to offend thee!

Cormac Brown said...

Thank you very much for the invite and even if your next five posts were about just about whether you wanted to grow your bangs out or not (not implying at all that your boring, just sayin'), I'm just happy to be finally invited into a private blog. Especially yours.

Ricky said...

Love it! Thanks for the invite. Finally figured it out. See your email for that story.

Can't wait to follow you on the secret side. Hehe.

Suzi Riot said...

Thanks for including me! I'm just glad you didn't shut it down. I'm excited to find out what you not holding back might hold in store.

Ricky Shambles said...

Whew! That's better. Now that I'm my self again.

Keep it coming. We'll be here to live it with you.

Ghost Dansing said...

please do not go.... violent femmes

GETkristiLOVE said...

Thanks for allowing me to view your blog. BTW, turtle sex is really, really, really gross.

Liberality said...

thank you for the invite, Freida Bee. we love you and don't want you to go. but do your work first and then if you have the time come play with us!

FranIAm said...

I thought I left a comment- I am glad to be here Freida Bee.

Do what you must, as Liberality says, we will be here. I have been sparse as both blogger and reader of late.

BTW, I think ironing your clothes is gross, but hey that's just me...

Dr. Zaius said...

π? Did you say π? Two slices, please!

If you are going to insist on having some class, you might as well get the accelerated kind. There is far less waiting around that way.

CDP said...

I'm glad you didn't stop blogging, and now I'm all full of myself for having been invited to be part of such an exclusive group. It is exclusive, right? I can't be seen with riff raff.

Dr. Zaius said...

Happy birthday, Freida Bee! (Is there any cake and ice cream?)

Randal Graves said...

Have you thought about eating what's on your plate before moving on? I know some consider lima beans to be disgusting like certain blogs, but they're nutritious, like certain blogs.

Heh heh, you typed balls.

I hope you get good stuff for your VD birthday, just not a VD.

pidomon said...

didn't see an invite but took a chance and clicked on the view blog button anyway

please don't kick me out! (I promise I'll sit in the corner and no one will know I am here!

oh and happy birthday

Freida Bee said...

Pido- You silly. I sent you an invite at a verizon address. I heard one went into the trash. Maybe your email was jealous and threw it away. Anyhooz, I'm glad you made it!

Dr. Z. There is an unending supply of π, so help yourself!

I love you all. Thanks for visiting. Now, I've just got to put something here for you to read. Blogs are funny that way.

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday, Precious!

Randal Graves said...

Yeah, Happy Birthday
and all that jazz -
your present's in the mail,
the head of George Bush on a pike,
I hope you like -
but where's the cake n' creamy ice?
Did you rustle up some varmints,
rob a stagecoach or two,
as Texans are wont to do?

Dr. Zaius said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Utah Savage said...

I'm still lost. I can't find you. This is driving me crazy and you know what that means. I'm sick. I need the comfort of knowing what's going on with you. Your life is more interesting than mine, and I'm missing out. WTF?