Tha Florence Joe Diaries: Turnin' Over tha Other Cheek

Beginning with the starter sentence, here is my lofty contribution to Flash Fiction Friday.

"She was always threatening to punch someone in the face, but this time she meant it." Tha's what Roy, mah boss said a' we's 'ployee meetin' this mornin' an' it ain't no lie. Ah still got's tha shiner ta prove it.

Ah jes' wish this wasn't mah day I got's ta get ma employee valuation. Tha's what ah's doin' here sittin' here in tha hall outside Roy's office writin' in mah diary. Waitin'. Ah hate waitin'. Plus wha's takin' Roy so long in there wit' Miranda? I heard tha Stacie might be leavin' and tha' Roy might have ta make one of us he's new night manager. It probly don' look good ta have this here shiner on account a tha.'

Ev'ry Friday, all we's waitresses goes on out to tha parkin' lot over off Riverside an' we collect we's spare change to give ta charity. Jes' 'bout ev'ry time we do, tha' lesbian dyke goes out and hold's up she's sign again tha' says, "Women's are not for decoration." Well duh.

I can understand why she feels tha' way, tho. She probly got treated meanlike like that time Carl Wayne Jr came home crying from school after they's boys started shit wit' him callin' his Mamma (me) a whore. Ah's never been prouder of him than when he showed up back at home wit' he's black eye, but this.... This here's different. It looks cool when a boy got's his shiner, but when a girl got's one, people either think she a dyke or she's a doormat, an', Jesus knows, ah ain't neither one a them's.

If that dyke could see tha way me an' Miranda kiss when we's playin' quarters wit' we's customers when Roy ain't 'round, she'd know ah ain't no homophobia or nothin'. It's jes' tha' them suits give us tha big bucks when we kiss each others, so tha's why we do it. Las' time, Miranda even slipped me she's tongue and grabbed mah tittie. It got me all worked up fer mah date wit' Rudy Gene an' ah was glad fer tha', but ah think Miranda actually liked it.

Ah know ah ain't been writin' 'nough lately but ah've had lot's on mah mind ever since Carl Wayne been put in jail on account a he's meth corner in we's kitchen. Tha's why ah's really hopin' Roy might be wantin' me to be he's new manager. Ah needs ta make me some extra cash.

Las' Friday, ah said to tha' dyke outside, "You ain't never gonna get you no dates iffin' you don' stop protestin' beauty." Tha's all ah said, and she up an' decked me one. It ain't right. Ah was jes' trying to help her, sister ta sister, and she weren't gonna have no part in tha'.

Anyways, I hear Miranda an' Roy talkin' louder now. Ah wonder if she was jes' givin' Roy a blowjob ta sweeten tha deal. Well, fuck, now it's gonna be really hard fer me ta get Roy up for he's blow job wit' me. Tha's probly why he wanted Miranda ta go first. Tha's ok. Ah got's tha 'bility to get he's boner hard anyway. Ah guess it's a oppertunity fer me to show him mah skills with tha company. Ah know we women's ain't no decorations, but tha' don't mean we got's ta be neglectin' we's bilities to please we's men. Tha's why ah went out an' turned tha other cheek, like Jesus tells us ta do, on tha' girl las' Friday and went out there an' gave her she's coupon fer some free wings. Ah wanted her to see that there ain't no need ta be attackin' me. Ah don' wanna steal she's girlfriends. She don' got nothin' to worry 'bout with me.

Now, that Miranda.... She's a other story.


Anonymous said...

Gods mill grinds slow but sure........................................

Cormac Brown said...

Nice story, but a hard read with the Appalachian-like lingo.

Übermilf said...

Appalachian? I thought it was more Cajun, for some reason.

One violent lesbian is good. Maybe next time we could have a whole mob of violent lesbians?

darkblack said...

'Well, fuck, now it's gonna be really hard fer me ta get Roy up for he's blow job wit' me.'

Thet's whar yore blumpkin cums in rhat handee, FJ.


Freida Bee, MD said...

Is tha' you, Jesus, anonymously?

Cormac- Where you been? Them's fightin' words to we Ozark folks! ;)

Ubermilfy- Ah ain't suprised you'd say that. Tha's ok. Ah's tolerant of all types of lesbians. ;)

DB- DB- Ah don't know what you's foreign language words is, but ah can say tha's tha spirit. ;)

Cormac Brown said...

BTW, I didn't mean that as criticism, it was just an observation. It's good if a reader has to work just a little more for the payoff, or all stories reach a certain sameness. Keep doing what you're doing.

Randal Graves said...

I always thought it was Lovecraftian, Dunwich Horror and all that. Which I think was a thinly veiled allegory of violent lesbian mobs, if you ask me.

Ia! Ia! Sappho!

PipeTobacco said...

I really enjoy the effort to use a more phonetic rendition of the dialect you use in your story. It gives an authenticity to the story that goes beyond the imagery.

Thank you!


David Barber said...

Enjoyed it Freida, and the dialect. ;-)
All the best, David.