People in Top Hats Could Solve the Oil Spill Crisis

This picture doesn't really have much to do with anything right now, except I kinda wish I were in it.  They seem to be doing something important.  That's what a top hat says.

That was the start of a post I wrote yesterday, and then just erased for its shamefully pathetic content.  I should have posted it, though, to present the contrast in my sanity after attending my women's group where I can say this smut for reals to real people, 'cause... ya'll are too good to be true.  I promise, I don't really prefer the meat world.  I just pretend I do so I can keep my job, so I can blog.  "Circle of Life."-- as a wise cop just told me.  Seriously.

Without Mr. Bee to complain about and without school to complain about, all I really have to complain about is that I'm not wearing a top hat and mustache.  My lovely dog of 13 years, who was 15 years old, died shortly after we moved into our apt, and then my beloved Applesauce ran for the hills or under a car or somewheres where we can't find her, so on the first day of the summer vacay, my baby bees and I went and adopted the cutest kittens from hell ever.  After a few name sets, Cosmo and people name Chloe were settled upon by The Future President who is, appropriately, our best decider.  Speaking of which, how's about that oil spill....


You know, I generally consider myself more a Macguyver of tostadas, but seriously, if you were paying my ass to be down in the gulf with any resource in the world at my disposal, I think I might be able to figure this shit out.  Hurry, someone make that shit a reality tv show and get some peeps on it, dude.  Loolly lolly.  At least Kevin Costner tried.  Maybe if we melt a bunch of humvees, we can cap it.  Go make a big air bubble around pipe channeling the oil out a hole all the while and and melt the humvees on and weld a cap on there.  You're welcome.  And, that's just one of the many things I can pull out of my ass at a moment's notice.  Those execs should be checking YouTube; the solution has probably already been posted.  What would Martha Stewart do?

Well, now I feel a little bad about the environment and that we're all gonna die soon, but I'm going to go swim with the baby bees in our apartment pool.  Unfortunately for you I only started reblogging after they transformed it from its temporary cesspool status.  That shit was nasty, but I saw them drain it with my very own eyes, and it's back better than ever, so I didn't actually ever call the Health Department.

This is all the blogging I can mustard for today.  I'm going to go wear a top hat and lounge around the pool, so I can work off some of that there sprouted grain bread french toast, kinda like little Cosmo here is doing as I type this.


Liberality said...

That is one cute little fellow there. Meow, I agree.

PENolan said...

What would Martha Stewart do?
Excellent question.

Übermilf said...

My nephew is an engineering student in an engineering fraternity, so I asked him his opinion of the oil spill. I mean, he and his ilk are who they'd be contacting in such an emergency, right? In his opinion, the spill would've been capped within hours or days -- if BP's primary goal wasn't capturing the oil instead of protecting the environment form harm. Interesting that Kevin Costner gets interviewed by the press, but not engineers.

Also, those people need monocles to complete their ensemble. That is all.

Randal Graves said...

Sad to hear about your old pets, but yay for the new ones, plus top hats, and above, beef stew? Be still my schwartz.

I'm no scientician, so I've no comment on oily badness. I wanna see someone in jail, but it'll probably just be the guy selling weed to the cleanup workers on the grimy beach in order to make ends meet.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Liberality- It's just one cuteness after another with this one. You should see his sister. She does flips. I'll have to video them. Cute Overload.

PE- I just know there's a cooking show dynasty built into that question. That, or a bumper sticker megalopoly.

Ubie- I just knew it. And, BP is going with KC's invention. Why are scientists not the CEOS of BP. Oh yeah, 'cause they would have actually taken the company "Beyond Petroleum."

OMG, now I want a monocle! It's true that I wear glasses mainly because of one eye....

Randal- See, even if someone goes to jail, "What Would Martha Stewart?" do is apropos. These guys really ought to be asking themselves this. I'm pretty sure all this oil is not gonna make for a good gumbo and someone must pay!

joe said...

"Shamefully pathetic content" from Miss Freida??? No way. Not possible.