I Wear My Sunglasses On a Tree of Humans with Great Hair

What happens after you're chased (in a fur coat) holding crack, weed and a gun? If you're lucky, you wake up with a stand-up comedy bit (that has nothing to do with the dream) that won't stop running through your head until you finally write it down. (non-sequitor)
Dear Blog,     I'm having some angst. I feel like our relationship has become stagnant and old.  Predictable.  I'm not sure you're meeting my needs anymore, and, I'm fairly certain, I'm not really meeting yours.  
I've tried spicing stuff up.  I mean, take a look at this font.  It's kinky, or at least kicky, right?  I know we have some history now, and this may be a little insensitive given we're a week from our four year blogiversary, but this all just has to be said.  
I'm sure this relationship is giving me exactly what I'm putting into it, but I don't like the shame that underlies it all with us.  I mean, we've had some good sex here, right?  I know, but I go out into the world and pretend that's not me.  I know we could eroticize it all, but I think you know how lazy I am.  If anyone does, it's you.
I don't think I would be being true to myself in a sense to ignore these parts of myself, and I'm between a rock and a hard place here (sigh) and this closet is getting a little small for the both of us.  
I don't want to pretend you never existed, neither could I, but I just can't take you out in public, and blah fucking blah.  I'm not telling you anything.  You just sit here like a lump.  You're not even real.  I made you; I can....  
Fuck, am I talking to my blog again?  We need some help, people.  See, it's much more palatable for me to anthropomorphize my blog, to have a cohort in all this.  I think I might like co-bloggin, yo.  Anyhoo, I've played around with some new blog names, and some new user id things, to maybe uproot and all.  I did start blogging first weekly on MySpace and I liked that.  My friends and my mom read it and though it was definitely different, it served different needs.  My mom even said my writing reminded her of Erma Bombeck's.  Ugggh.

Maybe keeping both is the answer.  I know I feel like there's not enough of me to go around as it is, but you know, doesn't that Slut book refer to all this?  There is not a limited amount of creativity in me, and for a little this summer I might have a tad more (after I write 324902834-98 assessments) time on my hands....  Given the fact that Erotica Gone Awry is my favorite of the blog names I came up with, and Freida Bean was the best Blogger ID I found (so far), I'm not so sure I'm all that ready to change here, damnit.

There was more, but the Baby Bees have just been delivered for their first full week of Fun with Mommy 101 M-F.  Today is actually a day home, and chore charts have been revealed.  Oh, the excitement.  They chose their chores last week, and I just typed them up and if they get it all signed, they'll get an allowance for a change.  Snaggletooth is at a cute stage of wanting to do the hard hitting chores.  The dishes daily, washing the laundry.  And, he just took out a book voluntarily.  How can we contain it all??  Honestly, this is great, but sunset will likely find me running them like dogs, to avoid the stir crazay.

Be well, and stay cool in Riviera™. 

(Also, I just saw Run Lola Run for the first time last night.  Why didn't you tell me?)


Liberality said...

oh Freida, I have been so busy and neglecting all my bloggy friends including you--please forgive me. you can start a new blog and just keep this one handy for emergencies of the too revealing sort. I love how you are so free here to say whatever the hell you want to say!!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what Liberality said...tenfold.

Randal Graves said...

Just be somewhere on the internets, cthulhudammit, or I start twittering penis shots, I mean singing, and you don't want that.

Freida Bee said...

Lib and Omni to the P- Thank you!

Randal- Don't tempt me.